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Your Horse’s Show Name is Retarded



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Jan 2010


Author: Katie Brown


Sometimes, I just have to roll my eyes at show names in general; horses, dogs and cats they all can be awful. I will say, that of the three, horse show names are the least ridiculous. I've come across some registered names that are super corny, like "Princess's Magical Rainbow Extreme". My least favorite, are names with sexual innuendos. I don't see how that's appropriate or clever. Here is a short list of show names I hate...

Stars Impish Feature

Ugh, some future owner is going to have to hear this name announced at a show. Which is a shame because he is a cute little horse and obviously well cared for. How about a name with a little more sophistication? He's a gelding, but if he was a mare I would like "Charm School Dropout" for no particular reason. "Stars Impish Feature" as a name has nothing to do with the horse's pedigree either except for the "Star" part. Barf.


Spaces? Who needs 'em! All Capital letters? Capital idea! Word with a negative connotation in my horse's name? Splendid! Sure, I get that you're including the dam and sire's name into your horse's registered name, but try again.

You RN ForAGoodTime

RN? What does that even mean? What's that you say? You're supposed to say the "R" then the "N" pronounced as "are in". Okay, so you're horse's name is "You Are in For a Good Time"? What kind of good time? I find this a little creepy.

G Unit

No, just no. Your horse is not a rapper. So far all of these awful names belong to Quarter Horses. Poor Quarter Horses.

Maddam Boot Chic

Mama's name was "Elizaboot"; Papa's name was "Best of Chic". So, lineage-wise, this name makes some sense. I just can't help but read the name as Madame Butt Cheek for some reason, which is why this name made my list.

Kreme N Krymsun

This horse is neither Crimson in color nor Creme in color. Her sire is called "OHK Krymsun Zip", so I get wanting to incorporate "Krymsun" into her name. How about something like, "Krymsun's Raven"? Seriously though, all of these horses are QHs. Why are QHs names so awful?

In Conclusion...

In the grand scheme of things, show names aren't that important. It's just a funny thing to snark on. I know that naming is completely subjective and that not everyone is going to agree with what I've stated here. However, I think it's important to keep in mind when picking a registered name that most likely someone is going to have to hear the registered name announced at a show and you shouldn't pick something that might be embarrassing. It's expensive to re-register a horse with a new name if you decided that you simply can't live with the horse's name. It is impossible to re-register once the horse has won any breed points. Names should make sense, don't name a Chestnut "Blackey". Actually, never name a horse Blackey, that is just pure laziness. So please, horse breeders, take a moment and pick a good name. If you are unsure if your name is any good, or you would like professional help, I charge $50 for my naming services (per name).

Photo Credits: Multiple Dreamhorse listings.
"Hello my name is" image purchased from

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2013 07 08

What about Fiftyshadesofhay? Haha.

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